I am struck by many things lately, much of which I have no words for. I rarely have the words I'm looking for, I am jealous of those who say what they want to and say it well. So if I had to try to put words to life right now it would be simple: life is hard. And at the risk of sounding like a Psych student- I think I've been living in a real split. I somehow wanted everything to fit into good and bad categories- and I am finding now that most things, if not all things, have a bit of the good and the bad. Not a major revelation really... but when all you thought was good suddenly looks bad the world gets dark quickly. And a dark world sucks... I like the good bits much better.
One good example of this would be the incredible institution I am currently attending. I really want it to be all good- but the reality is that it has its ugly parts too. Sometimes education can be the greatest ally and also our greatest enemy. I think the more you know the harder it can become to listen. The harder it can be to let go of answers. I am really longing for a third way- but I don't know how to live there yet.
I need more hope. Painting by Emily Carr is where I find some-
p e a c e
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